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The Best Seat


What is a “Danfo”?
A danfo as defined by sassyfunke.com is “A passenger bus that operates in Lagos and carries approximately 14-18 passengers”. The word “danfo” is very broad as is way beyond the above definition. But for the sake of this article, the aforementioned definition will suffice just fine.


I am here to give advice o! If you like, listen. If you like don’t listen. Cos in the words of our school teachers “You think you’re doing me? You are doing yourself”. There are 14 seats in a “standard danfo bus”. By “standard” I do not mean the normal human standard o! I mean “The Danfo Standard” The advice I came to give…Its about the best seat you would want to be on in a danfo bus. Yes! You think it isn’t important? 🤔🤔🤔
First off, the best seat would be without an iota of doubt, the front seat! Very convenient, relatively safe, private and you get to do amebo(gist) with the driver if you’re a good conversationist. To prove this point, you’d notice most of the time that the drivers are usually very selective about their front seat commuters. In other words, dem dey look face before dem allow you Sidon. Although, it has its disadvantages when it’s a “make-shift front seat” . Last week, I sat on a make shift front sit. They had just put the foam on top of the engine in front. Suddenly, water vapor started coming out from beneath. This could be mess abi? 🤔🤔🤔 but my mess couldn’t possibly be this toxic na! We eventually found out that it was from the carburetor of the bus. Front seat gone wrong❌

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The next best seat you’d want to be on is the last seat of the first row as seen in the image above. “Why?” you would ask. There’s so much freedom at that space. Breeze will be blowing you like a madman. No disturbance from any man, and you get down at your bus stop with ease. This seat is awesome! Nothing could go wrong na! Oh! Or so I had thought,😓😓😓 until yesterday, a passenger on my row decided to alight thereby forcing me to shift inward to the next seat. “It won’t be that bad na” Oh I thought!
One man with body odor decided to board the bus and sit at my former position, right next to me. Ladies and gentlemen, body odor is very real!😥😥😥 This man sat innocently as if he wasn’t guilty of anything. This guy dey gba!😫😫😫. It was bad as it was already o. Baba was unfortunately for me one of those guys that hold the handle at the ceiling of the bus so as not to fall off. He suddenly became scared and held the handle to with his left hand in which was right by my side o. Why lord! Why!! 😩😩😩 The source of the odor☠️. You could see the map underneath his armpit. I endured for several minutes. Baba finally used his right hand to hold the holder. “Pheeeew”😧😧😧. Or so I had thought😑😑😑😑 He used that dirty hand to rest on the bench, placing the source of the odor on my shirt. Waaaz all this na? The happiest moment of my life at that time was when he shouted these exact words “Driver owa o!”.

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The summary of the story is that there is unfortunately no perfect seat in a danfo bus😔😔😔. Life is not about looking for the perfect conditions cos you feel “the grass is greener on the other side”. Every side comes with its challenges. The challenge on this side is as hard is the challenge on the other side. In simple terms, CHALLENGE NA CHALLENGE! We could also say that most of the time we spend too much time trying to select the best seat in the danfo of life rather than just taking a seat and enjoying the ride to our destination. There is no “best seat” in the bus of life. We spend to much time thinking rather than living. I’m not saying we should live a recklessly o! Stop over thinking! Sometimes, just let life happen!

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  1. You’ve come a long way. The beauty is that you embody what you write as well. Wonder personal experiences to pass a simple yet profound message.

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